The Art of Living Lost: Secrets Behind the Fall of Wonder Woman

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My friends call me Wonder Woman, which always makes me laugh because while they find me unique in what I accomplish, it’s their daily demands that secretly fuel my need to be everything to everyone. Or more accurately, they make me believe it’s admirable to be a crazy woman – working, loving, and caring for all the things in my life until I privately crash with exhaustion. It’s this collapse that has inspired me to share the details of my descent into overwhelming loss, revealing how that experience helped me discover my real strength, appreciating that the best thing about being lost is the joy you discover along the way!

When my husband Chris passed away in January, it was the end of a defining chapter in my life. He was one of the few people who knew me; he gave me the courage to be big and bold, understanding that behind my big persona was a shy woman. I met Chris when I was 24, and we dated and were married for 23 years. I only mention this as a point of comparison; in the 24 years I lived before Chris, I learned to walk, talk, ride a bike, and drive a car. In the 23 years I lived with Chris, I learned to earn an income and be a wife and mother. After Chris died, there was a fundamental shift in my existence; many of my life pieces no longer fit together.

The good news is that while parts of my soul were torn away, other bits grew in their place. Words like fortitude, honor, freedom, and strength tiptoed into my vocabulary. It’s hard to watch your husband be zippered into a bag and taken away by the coroner. It’s harder to tell your children, “your father is dead.” That’s grit. Expecting your mother-in-law to live with you and share in the joy of your kid’s lives forever, that’s an honor. Buying a home based solely on your earned income to debt ratio; that’s freedom. Getting out of bed every day; requires a strength that even I can’t describe.

Welcome to my joy-filled journey.

 

The Art of Living Lost: Live and Learn

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Last week I participated in a business discussion where the speaker explained that “timeless lessons” were learned from classic books.” Specifically, he mentioned that Bill Gates took week-long read-only vacations, and Warren Buffet has a “voracious reading habit.” While these references were impressive, it was his curious mention of Thomas Jefferson that captured my imagination.

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The Art of Living Lost: Manifestations and Mantras

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A few years ago, my kids and I were driving to the beach; knowing parking would be horrendous, I said, “let’s try to manifest a parking space.” Come on, guys, imagine the perfect space; we pull right in, grab our towels, and run to the beautiful, blue water’s edge.

Got it? Now keep that picture in your mind; pleasant and relaxing. Beautiful and blue.

And then, a silver Honda Civic cut us off, forcing me to slam on the brakes.

Taking a deep breath, I told the kids to “go back to the beach, back to the warm sand, back to the cool water”; that’s when my daughter replied, “all I can see is the silver Honda Civic.”

No, no, no! Nice and relaxing. Warm. Cool. Beautiful. Blue. Imagine it,

Taking a deep breath, we drove the 45-minute-half-mile trip to the beach; pulling into what is always a chaotic parking lot, we found a few open spaces, all of which were scooped up seconds before us, by silver Honda Civics.

Frustrated, we left the beach and drove home.

To this day, forever manifested, when I even think about parking my car, I look up to see a silver Honda Civic. Which leads me to the point of this BLOG; I believe thoughts become things. The lists I’ve made, declarations I’ve written, and mantras I’ve subconsciously repeated to myself have come true. Good and bad.

The good I’ll take — the bad? Those I’d like to kick to the curb.

I bet you have a few hard stuck mental mantra’s you’d like to erase from your random access memory? Stop now — what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Please take a deep breath and let it go. Or embrace it. You decide.

Until next week,

Attribution alert: The ‘Thought Become Things’ tagline was trademarked by Mike Dooley. His daily The Universe Talks (TUT’s) are “designed to remind you that you have, indeed, been given dominion over all things.” When I first started receiving the TUT’s, I thought they were cute in a hokey sort of way; until they began to speak to me.

Sign up and let me know what you think– The Universe Talks

 

The Art of Living Lost: Yeesh,

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I can’t think of one, blasted thing to write about.

Kids are good.  Mr. Rogers is happy.  Work is humming along.

My grocery bag did break on Monday but the experience did not yield a lost to joy moment.

So?  I’ve got nothing.  Except,

Kids are good.  Mr. Rogers is happy.  Work is humming along.

And for this, I am grateful.  Have a great week,

The Art of Living Lost: Let’s Go Viral #CGADGg

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Good Grief is very important to The Art of Living Lost family and we are paying it forward!

Please post a picture of you and your posse on social media using #CGADCg.

By raising awareness and showing your support, you can break the cycle of isolation and reduce the risks for grieving children and families everywhere.  Together, we can create a culture in which no child ever has to grieve alone.

To learn more about Good Grief, checkout: Good Grief

Thank you and have GREAT week!