The Art Of Living Lost

Last week, I participated in a business discussion where the speaker explained that “timeless lessons” were learned from classic books. Specifically, he mentioned that Bill Gates took week-long read-only vacations, and Warren Buffett has a “voracious reading habit.” While these references were impressive, it was his curious mention of Thomas Jefferson that captured my imagination.

Now, Thomas Jefferson? He was a reader. He was also a writer. Specifically, though, it’s the words inscribed on his tombstone that I’d like to share,

HERE WAS BURIED

THOMAS JEFFERSON

AUTHOR OF THE

DECLARATION

OF

AMERICAN INDEPENDENCE

OF THE

STATUTE OF VIRGINIA

FOR

RELIGIOUS FREEDOM

AND FATHER OF THE

UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA

This epitaph is not what others wrote about President Jefferson, but instead what he wrote about himself. Jefferson defined himself as the “author of the Declaration of American Independence, the Statute of Virginia, and the founder of the University of Virginia.” No mention of his stint as our third President.

Very interesting.

I meet people every day who define themselves by what they have, who they are married to, and how successful they are in business. However, the reality is that how you present yourself may not necessarily be who you are. When I reflect on my personal “lost to joy” journey, I am certain that once I knew who I was and what I believed in, everything else started to fall into place.

Need evidence? Read back through my BLOG posts. You’ll see a mother, a lover, and a friend, and if you look very carefully, you will see an author and an educator advocating for the rights of others. Are you thinking about how you define yourself? Good, that was my intention.

Have a great week,

A few years ago, my kids and I were driving to the beach; knowing that parking would be horrendous, I said, “Let’s try to manifest a parking space.†Come on, guys, imagine the perfect space; we pull right in, grab our towels, and run to the beautiful, blue water’s edge.

Got it? Now, keep that picture in mind: pleasant and relaxing. Beautiful and blue.

And then, a silver Honda Civic cut us off, forcing me to slam on the brakes.

Taking a deep breath, I told the kids to “go back to the beach, back to the warm sand, back to the cool water.†That’s when my daughter replied, “All I can see is the silver Honda Civic.â€

No, no, no! Nice and relaxing. Warm. Cool. Beautiful. Blue. Imagine it,

Taking a deep breath, we drove the 45-minute, half-mile trip to the beach, pulling into what is always a chaotic parking lot. We found a few open spaces, all of which were scooped up seconds before us by silver Honda Civics.

Frustrated, we left the beach and drove home.

To this day, it remains forever manifested: whenever I think about parking my car, I look up to see a silver Honda Civic. Which leads me to the point of this BLOG; I believe thoughts become things. The lists I’ve made, declarations I’ve written, and mantras I’ve subconsciously repeated to myself have come true. Good and bad.

The good I’ll take — the bad? Those I’d like to kick to the curb.

I bet you have a few hard-stuck mental mantras you’d like to erase from your random access memory? Stop now, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Please take a deep breath and release it. Or embrace it. You decide.

Until next week,

Attribution alert: The ‘Thought Become Things’ tagline was trademarked by Mike Dooley. His daily The Universe Talks (TUT’s) are “designed to remind you that you have, indeed, been given dominion over all things.†When I first started receiving the TUTs, I thought they were cute in a hokey sort of way, until they began to speak to me.

Sign up and let me know what you think– The Universe Talks.

I can’t think of one blasted thing to write about.

Kids are good.  Mr. Rogers is happy.  Work is humming along.

My grocery bag broke on Monday, but the experience did not yield a moment of joy.

So?  I’ve got nothing.  Except,

Kids are good.  Mr. Rogers is happy.  Work is humming along.

And for this, I am grateful. 

Have a great week,

When this appeared on my Instagram feed, I immediately knew how I’d comment: I’d hold onto my kids and leave about 17 pounds behind. Thinking about it, I realized there were a few more things I’d love to hold onto, and a few I’d like to leave behind.

Let’s start with what I will happily leave behind:

1. Angst about moving my mother-in-law to an assisted living community. She’s happy, safe, and well taken care of; I’ve held onto the sadness and guilt for 18 months. That’s about 17 months too many.
2. Disappointment about a friendship gone awry. Bad behavior is always a reflection of that person’s integrity; not everyone is the same; some people are just rats.
3. Shock over having an investment advisor misappropriate a chunk of my kids’ college fund. This one brings a lump to my throat. Man, that would have made an excellent blog post, detailing systemic crimes that even the most honest investment professionals and ardent investigators can’t explain. Live and learn.

What would I hold on to?

1. My kids. I realized that the 2017/2018 school year would be the last year of unabashed innocence for my babies. This summer, we will begin exploring colleges and preparing for the SATs. Next school year, we’ll start the sprint to graduation, and then they’ll be out of my house. People often ask if my kids will attend school close to home or if they’ll attend the same college. No and no. Right, wrong, or otherwise, they will go fast, and they will go far. It turns out that when I taught them to love a great adventure, they were listening.
2. My family and friends. My family continues to be a gaggle of kooks, and I know they love me very much. My friends? I have them whittled down to a fantastic few. You know who you are, and I am deeply grateful for your presence in my life.
3. Mr. Rogers and Daisy the dog. I always knew I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life alone; however, I was surprised to fall in love with someone who drove very fast cars for fun. How did Daisy the dog make it to my hold-on list? Technically, she’s the heartbeat I spend the most time with; she warms up the bed on freezing nights, she watches me work, and she reminds me to go outside and take a walk once in a while. My cat? I love her too, but I’m pretty sure she’s trying to suffocate me while I sleep.

That’s my list. I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I don’t need a designated day to set goals that I have almost no chance of keeping. Every day, I try to eat the right food, exercise, and be a good mom. Mostly, I get the good mom part right; the rest is a bit of a crapshoot.

So here we are; this is your chance to mentally create a list of what you’ll hold on to and what you’ll let go.

Have a fantastic week!

Throwback Christmas — circa 2001.

Until 2018 — XXOO,

 

 

 

Last year my business partner was invited to speak at a conference in New Delhi, India.

When she asked if I thought we should attend, I said no, it’s a scam. Undeterred, she asked if I’d at least research the organization before we declined.

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A few years ago, I attended an economics conference in the city; the meeting ended at 6:30 — I was meeting a friend for dinner at 8:00.
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